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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27884380">christmas confessions</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/fungifaeries/pseuds/fungifaeries'>fungifaeries</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Christmas Fluff, F/F</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 15:40:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,597</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27884380</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/fungifaeries/pseuds/fungifaeries</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>pop idol sayaka has been secretly yet unofficially seeing mukuro, and their relationship has been strained since its threat to sayaka's career. in an all or nothing moment, however, sayaka makes her choice.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Enoshima Junko &amp; Ikusaba Mukuro, Enoshima Junko &amp; Maizono Sayaka, Ikusaba Mukuro/Maizono Sayaka</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>12 days of dr christmas!!</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>christmas confessions</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>sayaka's costume had many bells on it, and the fabric was pretty itchy, plus she couldn't decide if she looked cute or atrocious- but all in all the night seemed to be going pretty well!! with each step she took back stage, a jingling noise that brought a bit of joy to her heart could be heard, and it was an odd pick me up that brought her serotonin in a somewhat stressful time.</p><p>she was always a bit nervous before performances, and that was alright, everyone gets a bit of anxiety and you just need to work around it. it's just been snowballing a bit lately, with her constant christmas promotional appearances and the country grabbing at her like she was some sort of stretch toy. not to mention, it's been hard not screaming to the skies just how infatuated she was with a certain soldier.</p><p>mukuro was just so stoic, a mystical warrior with unstoppable strength, and with one look she could just make you feel safe. it wasn't just her power that put sayaka at ease though, it was her caring personality of wanting to support those she cared for, and how carefully she looked after others. it was so... just... something special, that's how she thought she could put it.</p><p>the way mukuro got flustered and shy was really cute too, and sayaka had gotten close enough to notice the cracks in her mask that allowed her to peek inside her love interest's iron clad persona.</p><p>still, nothing was clear about their feelings for each other yet, whether they were reciprocated or not. it would be very, very problematic for sayaka's career if she got into a relationship, especially with another woman. logically, the best game plan was to just keep her head clear and her enjoy the dream she'd worked so hard to reach.</p><p>but what if her dream had changed? what if mukuro had become much more important than originally planned? sayaka might have an urge, hidden away, but still very powerful- an urge to have ikusaba in her future. if her idol popularity days faded, wouldn't it be smart to have a "back-up?" not that she'd ever put mukuro as second, but that was the problem.</p><p>both her idol dreams and the possible permanent partner for her were competing for the top on her priority list, the chances of them being able to coexist happening to be very slim. she felt her heart become heavy with these worries, her head splitting in two different paths, both chasing an individual option that had the promise of contentment.</p><p>the pressure of the choice wouldn't have been so bad if sayaka didn't have to factor in the idea that losing either could devastate her, making it harder to enjoy the remainder. she didn't know if she could live without her idol dream or mukuro, she'd become attached so quickly, and now depended on both of them for her happiness and love for life. how had she gotten herself caught up in this mess...?</p><p>in fact, you might say her love(?) for mukuro was spontaneous and escalated much to fast, but you have to remember they did go to school together. at the time, she believed they both had their sights set on makoto, ironically, and had somewhat bonded over it. they'd even had a pity dinner together once they heard the news of him getting with kyoko.</p><p>they'd gone to become somewhat close friends, talking sometimes, meeting up occasionally, sayaka had even offered to go with mukuro as her plus one so she wouldn't feel so out of place at one of junko's parties. soon, time flew by, the three years at hope's peak ended, and they went their separate ways. it was only recently they got back in touch when junko and sayaka had gone on a talk show together, going out for dinner afterwards, only for enoshima to ditch her and leave her sister behind.</p><p>maybe it was purposeful, maybe the brilliant fashionista had an inkling that those two could benefit from some alone time, being able to catch up, and she was proved right. when they spoke with each other, it was like picking back up an old book you'd never lost the passion for, only for it to be revised with new twists and mysteries meant for enthralling you.</p><p>they talked, and talked, and talked, and surprisingly neither of them had dated anyone at all, not even a bit of talking, since they last met. for different reasons of course, both valid, but... it just seemed to easy too fall in with each other.</p><p>the night stretched on and they managed to get into some drinks, our protagonist surprisingly being a bourbon girl. while mukuro sipped on a simple beer, sayaka got far into a few glasses of bourbon, becoming more than a bit tipsy. three and a half hours had passed, everyone had cleared out, and it was just the two of them at the back of the exclusive restaurant, but the servers were a bit too intimidated to chase off such a popular customer.</p><p>suddenly, the drunken high was toppled by a drop in the mood, and it was unclear how it happened, but soon sayaka was in tears.</p><p>"there's so much pressure-!!"</p><p>"i've worked so hard for this!!"</p><p>"what if it all just crashes apart?!"</p><p>sayaka really hadn't mean to unload all this weight onto mukuro, it was definitely a laps of judgement. it was never, ever okay to vent to someone without their permission, and although it was unclear if she had gotten this green light, either way she felt horrible for leaving herself so vulnerable. she was supposed to make people smile, be that source of light for everyone lacking it in their life at the moment, and although she at least was with one of her peers, she still felt like such an unbearable failure.</p><p>the next thing maizono knew, she was being carried up a set of stairs, strong, solid arms making the initial panic of waking up somewhere unknown fade. only a few blinks after that awakening, though, her eyes fluttered closed once again. finally, after other snippets of her struggling into her apartment and a silent savior helping her, she officially came to on the couch of her living room.</p><p>with a jolt, she had shot up into a sitting position, only to immediately regret it as her head rattled with dizziness. as she grimaced and went to hold her head, she felt someone's reassuring hand on her shoulder, and a sense of security quickly swept her off of her metaphorical feet.</p><p>mukuro was there, a blank face that somehow was all the more comforting, and sayaka quickly calmed down, allowing herself to be laid back down. the other took care of her that night, and it was the start of something absolutely beautiful.</p><p>after that, ikusaba checked in frequently, perhaps feeling a new responsibility to support maizono now that a new emotional revelation had been sprung on her. the idol hated the thought of that bothering the other woman though, so she tried to meet up and just show how well she was doing.</p><p>eventually, the motives for sayaka and mukuro's hang out sessions became somewhat obscured, and soon they, or at least sayaka, found herself falling for each other. mukuro seemed to focus moreso on the other's career though, considering herself as an obstacle in sayaka's dreams, so she'd been pulling away recently, sayaka could tell.</p><p>the predicament sayaka had found herself in... it was frustrating. maybe she was thinking in extremes, but she just felt like she couldn't afford to lose either of the things she was being forced to choose between.</p><p>she was snapped back to reality though by her manager, prompting her to get ready to walk out on stage. she immediately tossed a bright smile onto her face, shoving all her concerns into a worry box for later, and readied herself. still, they hadn't been so securely locked away, and she had to admit, these thoughts were still plaguing her mind...</p><p>the screams and applause she got on stage were a nice pick me up as sayaka strutted out, waving enthusiastically with a big grin on her face. still, she couldn't help but wonder if mukuro was out there cheering for her too, and that made her heart flutter.</p><p>"happy holidays everyone, it's amazing to have you all out here tonight!!" she exclaimed with a practiced angelic laugh, and she received a thunderous cacophony of support back. she smiled even wider and fondly looked across the sea of faces, but even then, she was looking out for a certain freckled face.</p><p>the performance really went by, her mind was just in a different place, and she dearly hoped it wasn't effecting her performance. she danced and bobbed and swayed, sang and cheered, but it all just felt so abnormally unfulfilling.</p><p>they were ready go off stage when impulse struck, and she clutched at her microphone nervously as she sucked in a calming breath. "hey... i have an announcement to make."</p><p>it was deafly quiet for a moment, and it made her stomach churn, but forcing a smile, her eyes crinkled and she looked out at the crowd. "i... i confess my love to mukuro ikusaba!!"</p><p>this might ruin things, this might make everything so much more difficult, and in the end it could possibly take both beloved joys away from her. how was she supposed to know though if she never took that chance?</p>
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